In case you are new to my blog and you hate my page's navigation scheme or whatever it's called, here are quicklinks to some of my favourite old posts.

Happy Sunday, Chuk Chak Chinese And Other Blahs

I was reading old text messages from poor people asking for pasaload when finally he spoke.

"Ikaw may Cha-neese blood?" He stared at me as if my face was smeared with
Chinese characters which bear the answer to the meaning of life.

"Of course I have Chinese blood. My grandmother was born in Shanghai in the 1930s
and moved to the Philippines after WWII with her Chinese
family. They brought a lot of lumpiang Shanghai and siomai and silk with them."

Of course my grandmother wasn't Chinese, she was half-Korean, half-alcoholic.
But i was so bored i had to lie.

"Pak ikaw not Cha-neese wala swer-te."

"Fine, just gimme the effin dates will you?"

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It's All About The Money

Im so gonna save im gonna make it the 2nd best thing next to madonna. so what am i gonna do with my savings? im gonna buy myself slaves. 36 slaves. kidding.


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I Heart Stuff and Other Blahs Fabulous Indigenous Edition

speaking of hindi naligo, two girls wearing vendor clothes who really are vendors anyway suddenly appeared in front of me together with their bilaos of mangga kanina while waiting for tetet at the grocer. i asked them what the hell is up with them mangga ladies and the teary eyed girl said, in vernacular, "The police." Tipong, "Mga pu-les."

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Short Story: V is for LOVE (Marilou Part 1)

"Oh it's you. I didn't hear you open the door."

"That's because your hearing aid is soaked in that bloody mess." He just stayed there, wouldn't even put down his bag. Wouldn't even take off his tiara.

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Short Story: V is for VEKTAS (Marilou Part 2)

"Gee this looks so-good I'm gonna go pee-pee all over it," she said when she stepped on a shiny pregnancy test kit on her way to Jollibee. She pulled down her jeans and started peeing all over the pregnancy test kit, not minding the crowd of people who started to gather around her.

you can find it below...

Of course I have other lovely posts and you can still check them out in the archives. More posts to come (hopefully) tonight...